my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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