Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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