I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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