I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
third nipple confirmed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize