I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You ate ashes out of my bong
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
