I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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