Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
