God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
