grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pants are for mortals
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
