dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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