actually, I'm a sock model
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Barsexuality is the new black.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
