Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize