Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize