And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
