Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
