I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
