no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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