do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
