I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
