My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
