Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's shark week go big or go home
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
