He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
