An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
