i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
