lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
