I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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