I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize