ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Drunk is not a location!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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