I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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