some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize