11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
