I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
