A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ugly people sure do ruin things
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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