My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
