Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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