Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
