Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
