All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
