One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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