Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
