Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
