found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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