yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
