I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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