I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We are two peas in an std pod
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
