We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
