yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We were destined to go to rehab together
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
