what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
