Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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