I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
