I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
