he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
