Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
