That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
