I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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