Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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