You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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