he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I want is dick and wine.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
