what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
