Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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