There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
