he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
