How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
