God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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