worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
