I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
