Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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