His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
