Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We're too hungover to prance.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
