Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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